Ode to dairy products

I love milk. I love cheese. I love ice cream, sour cream, butter, I love it all. If it’s made from something that comes from a cow’s teet, I love it. When I was younger, I used to eat cereal for all three meals if my mom would let me. I used to drink 4-5 TALL glasses of milk/chocolate milk a day. I’m a chocolate milk connoisseur, I know the best way to mix it and what pre-mixed brand is the best. When I was 17 or 18, I had a physical and the doctor was concerned because the high level of calcium I had. I had to abstain from dairy products for a week and then have my blood work re-taken to ensure I didn’t have cancer or parathyroid disease. No, I just drink a lot of milk. When I’m hungry, but don’t want a heavy meal, I eat a bag of shredded cheese or cheese cubes. Dairy products are god’s way of telling me he loves me.

You know who else loves milk in our house? Caitlin. She drinks the shit up. She drinks countless bottles/cups of milk a day (except on days when we’re out in the water/in the sun). I’ve since cut down on my dairy intake to help keep milk in the house, but I still will eat 3-4 bowls of cereal and have 2-3 glasses. So a gallon of milk will last us, maybe, two days. Sometimes more, rarely, but sometimes. A half gallon in our house however? That will last us until possibly the end of the night. Maybe into the next morning, but never past that. And if we run out of milk at night, like when the baby is in bed, it’s a panic state because we know we need to get more before she wakes up otherwise no one is getting back to sleep. (Side-note: She doesn’t sleep with the bottle, she drinks a little and then spits it out when she’s satisfied. I don’t need tons of comments or emails about how sleeping with the bottle will decay her teeth. I already know. And she only uses a bottle at home.)

So, why was it, knowing this, did my husband only purchase a half gallon? The only acceptable answers from him would be either a) they didn’t have a full gallon or b) he went to the gas station down the road where milk is hella expensive, because any other reason other than that will prompt a very loud “What the eff??” from me. (Edit: I just asked, it was option b. He so smaaart.) Really, to be honest, it’d probably be cheaper for us to purchase a cow and a pasteurization farm and do the work ourselves. Because seriously, we drink that much milk around here. I’m pretty sure Caitlin wouldn’t even care if it was pasteurized or cold. In fact, I know she wouldn’t care if it was cold because when she was first being weened off of breastfeeding and going to whole milk, she would only drink it warm. Now, she’ll drink it warm, cold, old (if I don’t find the day old bottle before her), whatever, she loves her milk. I love my milk. Chris, he could do without it. I once saw him eating cookies with water…yea, I know, totally gross and freaky.

Anyway, does anyone know how to go about buying a cow strictly for milking? I mean, could I even do that?? I would love to. It just sounds like such a delicious idea…

PS. I am so so so SO glad Craig M. went home last night.But now, I’m super annoyed by Jonathan. I mean, seriously, dude? Stop talking about another guy during your only one-on-one time. And I think I’m starting to like Justin more, and Frank is turning into a creeper.

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9 Responses

  1. You can totally do that. Also, pasturization isn’t nearly as necessary when you have control over the cow. If your cow eats well and is healthy and you drink the milk the same day it’s milked, it’s totally cool to skip it.

    Of course, keeping a cow is a total pain in the behind and they eat a TON and it probably wouldn’t really be worth it. Also, unless you are drinking whole milk, there’s the whole separating the milk fat thing, which is not easy. So, I wouldn’t, but what the hey, I hate milk.

    • I’m trying to convince my sister to let me keep a cow at her house. She has a lot of land and they want to start a mini-farm over there anyway. I love whole milk so I think I could totally handle having to drink the milk same day….I just love milk.

  2. My oldest daughter has a serious milk addiction, too. We’re at the point where I have to refuse to give her milk in the morning until she eats some solid food; otherwise, I’m pretty sure she’d be on a strict liquids-only diet. (Sadly, she doesn’t like cheese or yogurt, just milk, milk, milk.) Anyway, I totally relate to the ‘oh-my-god-we’ve-run-out-of-milk-and-have-to-run-to-the-store-immdediatly’ panic. People in the grocery store are always aghast when they see how much milk I buy!

    As for the cow, what a great idea! I don’t know how to go about doing it, but I’ve known people who’ve kept milking cows as pets (random, I know) so it can definitely be done!

    • I’ve had to limit the amount of milk my daughter drinks. No milk for at least an hour before a meal, and no milk until after she’s eaten. Otherwise, she’d be on a milk diet. It got frustrating before I figured out that’s what I need to do. I’m sure the people at the stores think I’m hoarding the stuff because I seriously am in there everyday to every other day getting a gallon.

  3. I do not care for milk, and after a long history of kidney stones (caused by abnormal build-ups of calcium), my doctor told me to cut back on dairy. Fine by me . . . I just eliminated milk and kept eating the other dairy products that I love.

    And cows? They are huge mooing poop machines.

    I LOVE the image of husband with cookies and water! Love that.

    • The first time I saw him doing that I asked him if he wanted me to get a glass of milk and he just said, with a mouth full of Oreo, “No, I’m good. I got my water.” I was so grossed out, I nearly gagged.

  4. We had a milk cow when we got married. We loved having all the fresh, raw milk we could drink! It really tastes SO much better than store milk.

    When I got pregnant I couldn’t handle milking and morning sickness, so we don’t have one anymore… but I miss having more milk than we could drink! I made the extra into cheese. :)

    Now we get it from a family member with a cow… three gallons a week, and sometimes we barely make it through the week!

    • That sounds so cool!! Is it a lot of work to milk the cow? I’ve heard milk straight from the cow is much better tasting. Man, if we had enough land I would do it in a heartbeat!!!

      • Once you learn to milk, if you have a nice gentle cow it doesn’t take that long. Maybe 30 minutes twice a day. Or, a lot of people milk once a day, in the morning, and leave the cow with her calf during the day. That way you only have to milk once. :)

        You can find raw milk sources here if you want to try it sometime… http://www.realmilk.com/where2.html

        We only have five acres, but you can keep a cow on even less than that, you’ll just have to buy hay.

        I think in a few years we’ll get a cow again… but I’m wanting to wait until my kids can help a little bit. A ten year old can be capable of handling the milking if you have a calm, older cow. :)

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