Because sleep and comfort are over-rated.

I’m frustrated, again. I’m having more and more days like this it seems, and I’m not sure why. Lack of sleep, lots of worry and discomfort probably.

Caitlin is having even more trouble falling asleep lately, probably because her bedtime routine got messed up when we painted the room. The rocking chair was full of items for a couple of days and I just haven’t gotten around to getting back into the swing of it. Never mind the fact that, sometimes, moving is quite painful. Kinley is getting big, I can feel it and see it. My belly button is about half way out now, making Caitlin’s favorite game “Outie, Innie.” Which, to be honest, can be painful. I have a sensitive belly button.

So the fact Caitlin is staying up super late, not sleeping through the night, Kinley is most active at night or I just have the most horrendous abdominal pain, sleep is not coming easy for me. Last night a lot of crying was had, by me that is. II broke down two or three times, the first time being that my bladder was about to explode and Caitlin was having trouble getting to sleep in her crib. So, eventually, thinking she’d have an easier time getting comfortable if we took a little break, I brought her into my room and laid her on the bed so I could pee. She was fine, for about 15 seconds. Once I was in the bathroom she proceeded to scream and cry her little head off, half asleep. I proceeded to sit on the toilet and cry. I just sat there, my pants around my ankles, crying, until my legs went numb. It was pretty pathetic if I do say so myself.

It was a little after this my stomach decided to turn against me. The most horrible, non-contraction, non-stomach virus, related pain I’ve ever had. I felt like I was on the verge of an Alien like birthing scene, where it just pops out. When it was time for Chris and I to go to bed (which was right after Caitlin fell asleep, due to anger and pain) I could not, for the life of me, get comfortable. Well, not comfortable, but get not in pain…?  Every single way I turned, I groaned and moaned and fought the pain. The only way I could get a smidgen of relief was on my back, but then Chris would put his arm or hand on my belly and that would prove to be equally painful. I just start sobbing and begging Chris to wake up so I could ask him to give me some space. I don’t think he realized I needed space because I was in pain, not because I was upset. I was just sobbing hysterically from the pain. And when he would ask me what was wrong, all I could choke out was “I’m not sure!” Which probably made me seem insane, but I honestly don’t know what was going on.

So we I didn’t get much sleep (once again), and the pain is still there, only slightly less. Luckily I get a second wind during the day most times so I’m okay as far as being irritable and tired. Just frustrated. I have a 1-2 months to get as much sleep as I can, but it just kind of feels like that is never gonna happen. Maybe after Kinley is born, I won’t breastfeed and instead do formula so I can get a prescription for Provigil. Unfortunately, the possibility of going crazy and murdering my family just doesn’t seem like a good trade for not needing sleep.

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8 Responses

  1. You sound overwhelmed. :( I can totally relate. I pretty much had a breakdown while pregnant this last time around. My husband was overseas in Afghanistan and I had a really difficult pregnancy coupled with depression. While you may not be depressed, I just want you to know that you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed. It’s definitely a good idea to talk with your doctor about the pain you experienced and how you’ve been feeling. Believe it or not, there are medications that you can be prescribed while pregnant and breastfeeding to help with sleep aid and in my case, depression. Here’s a resource I look to all the time as a breastfeeding mother. It lists the safety levels of various medications for use while breastfeeding. You may not need to give up either! I hope you begin to feel better soon. Congratulations on the baby. :)
    Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my OH NO HE DIDN’T! Tuesday post. Men sure are a pain aren’t they? lol Have a great day.

    Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
    @TweetingMama

    • Oh, thank you so much. This comment means so much to me, it makes me feel normal again. *Hugs* I can’t imagine doing this while my husband is overseas…you’re a brave, brave woman. And you’re right, I couldn’t find the right word but “overwhelmed” is exactly it. It feels nice knowing there are other women out there who truly “get” what I’m going through (other than family) when it feels like my husband struggles to understand. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving that link. I will definitely have to look into something to help me out.
      I think I’m going to have to participate next Tuesday for OH NO HE DIDN’T! I have a lot of those stories! Haha!

  2. I forgot to include the link to the resource I use for medications while breastfeeding. Here it is: http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/aap-approved-meds.html#Sleep

    Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
    @TweetingMama

  3. Thanks for your comment on my blog, made my day! Btw, having 3 kids and being a stay at home mom and doing the mom blog, I gave up sleep and am one step closer to relating to Batman. I totally get what you’re saying. :)

    Carrie
    the5thgirl.com

  4. My son was up all night last night, and as a result so was I! My wife is recovering from a nasty bout of tonsillitis and needs her bedrest. I nearly fell asleep at work today!

    I was also relegated to the sofa for the last couple of months of pregnancy to give my wife more space!

    Ben

    • That was sweet of you to stay up! My husband has difficulty not falling asleep and can sleep through almost anything. It makes for a bit of disaster when he takes charge at night.

  5. Oh, I’ve had days like that. And having them so close together in age does make it overwhelming at times. Just hang in there and know that this too shall pass. Thanks for stopping by my blog today. Jen

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