Shopping adventure

My left foot smells like curdled milk and it’s really really gross, but I’ll get to that.

I had to go shopping today to pick some stuff up. Just basics; paper towels, body wash (so I can stop using Chris’ and stop smelling like man), face wash, Little Swimmer’s, cookies, you know. The basics. Honestly, I don’t remember the last time I went to the store alone with Caitlin. I really don’t, it’s been that long. I do, however, know the last time I did, she was still either in a sling or using one of the carts that have the seat for teeny babies. She wasn’t actually sitting in the basket, that’s how long it’s been. There was never any need for me to go by myself. My mom basically lives at Target and I was working every other day, and now I’m not working. So if I need to go, why go alone when mom can almost always go with me. And if she couldn’t, anything I needed could wait for the next day, no big rush. But now? My parents are in New Orleans for a week. And we were once again nearly out of milk. And I needed body wash desperately. So I had to go to the store by myself.

Now, this is crappy for multiple reasons. The first one is the trip there. Chris has yet to replace the stereo in my car so there is nothing to listen to. No music, no news, nadda. It suuuuuucks. So I was NOT about to drive 30 minutes there and back with a baby who absolutely loves to jam, I had to figure out a way. So I got my iPod, scrounged up 6 “c” batteries and took my little bathroom radio with me. It was sort of crappy, but whatever, got the job done. Much jamming was had by all. Especially me, because Caitlin fell asleep and left me to jam alone.

Reason number two this is a not fun situation for me? I can barely walk, let alone push a cart, pick up multiple items that are strategically placed so pregnant women cannot reach them comfortably, and deal with Caitlin, who does not enjoy sitting in the baskets at all. She enjoys sitting on the handlebar while you push it. That wasn’t happening so out of the two hour trip, I spent 60 minutes driving (30 there, 30 back), which leaves an hour in store. That hour in the store, 45 minutes of it was spent forcing Caitlin to sit down and shoving cookies into her mouth to keep her distracted enough to get the shopping over and done with.

So now, we’re at the store, I have nothing in my cart and I can not for the life of me remember what I needed or find my shopping list. So I start walking towards the baby section hoping to revive my memory, because I can’t go into a store and not purchase at least one thing from the baby section. Diapers? Nope. Wipes? No. Clothes? Real big nope. Oh, but I could use some Little Swimmer’s. We plan on swimming a lot this week while my parents are gone (nothing better to do) so those would be nice to have. Throw them in. What else did I need?? Oh, crap, cleaning supplies. So I have to go all the way back to the other end of the store to get cleaning supplies. So I grab that and as I’m going to grab paper towels I notice that if I buy at least one of two different items I get a five dollar gift card. One of them is paper towels. The others? Toilet paper or diapers. We don’t need toilet paper, so I go BACK to the baby section to see if the Little Swimmer’s qualify. Nope, they do not. But you know what does? Swaddlers.

So I’m standing, staring at the red tag that announces “BUY THESE AND GET A $5 GIFTCARD” debating on whether or not I should get them. Now, most mom’s will know, Swaddlers are the diapers that are designed for newborns up into size two. So, I’m standing there, wondering if I should or shouldn’t when I hear the voice. “Mom. Hey, mom. I have no diapers at all. I could be coming out right now and you still have yet to buy me shit. I don’t even have diapers.” I know, I know, we are not nearly as prepared for you as we were for Caitlin, but I didn’t want a baby shower with you and we got most of that stuff during the baby shower…”But mom, I need diapers. I mean, I barely have any clothes. Do you have ANYTHING for me other than the 4 sleepers and one pack of onesies that Nonnie bought??” Nope, no I do not. I am completely unprepared for you Kinley. I mean, I want to get a new bed before you get here so I can actually use my beautiful co-sleeper that my mom bought me with Caitlin that I never got to use. “Yea, Caitlin had all this crap and I don’t even have a pack of diapers. I’m just going to have to go naked for a while aren’t I? She’s your favorite.” She’s not my favorite, it’s just, I’m sorry, you’re the second and I’ve been really distracted by everything. “Yea. I don’t even have any diapers. But she has regular diapers and NOW a pack of Little Swimmers…I see how it is..”

So I used my $5 gift card on my second transaction so I could save some money. Because those goddamn Swaddler’s are like, $20 for a box of 84. Ugh. Was anyone else this unprepared for their second (or third or whatever)?? I seriously feel like we have nothing but the nursery accomplished. And that’s only done in part because it’s Caitlin’s room too. And that’s not even done all the way. I don’t have a dresser for them. *Sigh*

Anyway, so finally, after getting my shit (and having to run back from the babies section to the food to get milk and cookies), and strapping Caitlin in the car, I grab her bottle to pour some fresh milk in. She brings her bottle out of the house, but drinks from her cup in stores. In her cup was water, in the bottle was milk. Milk that was fresh when we left the house, but not so fresh when we got back out to the car. So I decided I would throw out the old milk, rinse it out with water from her cup and then we’d be set. I throw the milk on the ground next to the car. Bad idea, but not terrible. A little back splash got on my foot, no biggie. I pour the water into the (very stinky) bottle to rinse it out and shake it around then throw the water onto the old milk. Very bad idea, very terrible. A BIG back splash got all over my left foot and seeped into my flip flop.  So now, my foot and flip flop smell like heat curdled milk. And it’s 94 degrees outside. And I have to drive home in a hot car with a wet milk filled flip-flop on. It would have almost been worth it to go back in and buy a new pair, but she was already starting to fall asleep. So instead I gagged all the way home.

And this is why I don’t go shopping by myself. Because I spend $30 just to get a $5 gift card to take off of the next transaction because my unborn son guilt’s me into it. And I get rotten milk all over my foot.

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One Response

  1. I feel ya on this!! I do the same dang thing! Thinking that I can save $5 and end up spending an additional $10 or something crazy! LMAO!

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