Days like today are constant reminders I suck at life.

Yes, double post day again. Shut up. Did you read my last post? If you have a boy, you need to.

Anyway, I got a lot done today. I’m usually not this productive by myself, but I got a lot done. The only thing I did successfully, however, was clean my car. God, why do I always have “those” days??

Caitlin woke up at 640 this morning and since we’re at my mom’s we had no swing so I was up with her. I had to wait for my brother to text me anyway, he had to do something for work today and needed someone to watch his little boy for a couple of hours. And since we always do that crap for each other, I was happy to. My nephew is awesome anyway, smart as a whip, cute and funny, and plus he loves playing with Caitlin, so watching him is super easy. I only had him for a short hour however so I cleaned the house spotless (and even finished my last load of laundry) while I had him. Quickly got ready (and my hair still looked super cute today) and started on my way.

Until I get everything in the car and then remember “Crap, left the cd I just burned in my laptop.” So I return to the door and low and behold, I locked myself out. The thing is, we have an electronic keypad for our deadbolt, so we usually don’t lock the bottom one while out of the house. I do, however, lock it when I’m alone due to a creepy white truck man that sits outside my drive way nearly everyday for about a half hour.I forgot to unlock it when I closed the door. And my keys? Well, I’m always losing my keys so I don’t put my car key on my key chain (actually, just haven’t gotten around to putting it on there). I had my car key, but my house keys? In the house. Awesome. I’m pretty sure I’m the only person in the universe who can have a keypad deadbolt and STILL lock themselves out of their house. That is how awesome I am. Well, at least the baby wasn’t inside, or my wallet. Nothing important that couldn’t wait for Chris to get home. So off I was.

First on my list of to do? Go on a lunch date with the baby, which I had never done by myself. We’ve always had company!! To be honest, I didn’t even know the schematics of how to do it, but it went well enough. She spit her apple juice all over her shirt, and ate only one nugget because she rolls like that, but whatever. I ate all mine and she had fun. That’s really sad when your daughter is 15 months old and you are just now, for the first time, eating lunch at a restaurant alone with her.

Second was to go get my finger sized. Chris and I are getting new wedding rings for our anniversary (another post for another day), but I don’t know my ring size. I forgot. And for whatever reason our printer is an idiot and not working. Again. So I had to figure out a way to get a correct ring size without being weird. My dad came up with the genius idea to go to a store, pretend I’m buying a ring there, get sized and try on a few, that’s why they pay him the big bucks. He’s a very important person, as Chris would say. So off to Zales I go…at the mall…by myself…with a 15 month old and serious underbelly pain. Ugh. I’m stupid. Thank god for strollers, but I know I looked terrible having to stop every five steps.

So I get to the store and tell the woman I’m interested in looking at rings. I have some special events coming up, new ring, blah blah blah. And I casually mention that I don’t know my ring size and will need it to inform my husband so he can get it sized at time of purchase. She looks at me, scrunches her face and says “You’re pregnant…right?” No, bitch, I’m a penguin. That’s why I’m fat and waddle. Well, that’s what I was thinking. What I really said was “Giggle giggle, yes, 7 months but my current wedding ring is the perfect size pregnant and non, so that’s the size I want.” Okay, fitted, size 5. And to make it look real I decide to look around and try some on. While I’m looking around she offers to clean my ring. Upon handing it back she says “Aww, it’s such a cute and little ring. Have you thought about trading up?” Excuse me?? Maybe I like them small. And to prove a point, every time she would point one out that was bigger than 3/4 carat I declined, “Nope, too big.” I really don’t like huge gaudy diamonds, I think mine is absolutely perfect. But seriously?? You’re going to first insinuate that I might be a penguin (I may be reading too much into that statement but whatever, I’m hormonal) and then you tell me my ring is too small? Even if I wasn’t fake shopping, I wouldn’t purchase from someone so rude. Thank god Caitlin started fussing and gave me an excuse to walk out.

I, stupidly, walked around the mall a little more, until I was about crying with pain. Third stop. Car wash. I managed to do that perfectly, without getting locked out, locking Caitlin in, getting insulted or breaking anything. The Dinomobile? Beautiful looking once again.

At least I don’t completely suck at everything I do. I just don’t understand how something like this always happens to me. I lose my keys (at least once a day. Ask anyone in my family), I forget my wallet, I forget a spare shirt for the baby, I do any number of things to prevent my day from running smoothly. Tomorrow I have to get some of Chris’ meds refilled…who knows how badly I’ll screw the pooch on that one?


3 Responses

  1. You know, all of that forgetting things and losing stuff? That’s called Mom-itis. Welcome to the club! It’s wonderful isn’t it? Oh, and don’t worry. It only gets worse the more kids you add on. Being pregnant also magnifies the situation by about 1000.

    The only thing that I have found that helps this situation a little is O.D.-ing on B-Complex. That stuff is awesome.

    Don’t you hate all those hoity-toity bitches in the jewelry stores?

    • I seriously feel like I’m losing my mind…

      • Just now? I would have said you never had a mind! ;) I remember a crazy two year old chasing me around with a fork maniacally telling me that you were going to cook me and then eat me up because you were SOOO mad at me.

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