Conversations with my husband part deux

First off, Disclaimer: I have never read or watched or anything Twilight. What I know of Twilight is there is a grungy, doped up looking girl, a pale ass vampire who takes himself way too seriously, a werewolf desperately in need of a haircut and a graphic birthing scene in the last one along with said werewolf peeing on an infant in some weird pedobear type stuff. So, if you’re one of those who is absolutely crazy about it and is easily offended when people make fun of it, you probably shouldn’t read this. That means you Tween girls. I don’t need hate mail. And besides, if I had to pick, I’d probably go with the werewolf, pedobear-ness and all. Nothing against vampires, but dude is so pale!

So anyway, onward ho!

Chris and I are laying in my parents bed discussing alarm clocks. The alarm clocks they own have red numbers, while ours has this blue/black/white thing going on and it’s SUPER BRIGHT. Chris hates it. He likes the dark. He can barely sleep with our stereo plugged in because the small screen is too bright…so I’m bold, he’s italics.

I’m a vampire.
I know you are. It’s crazy. Do you suck sausage?
Do you suck sausage instead of blood? Are you a sausage sucking vampire?
You’re a gay vampire. You’re my Edward. That’s what I’m going to call you.
Your Edward?
Yea, cause you’re a gay vampire. You’re my Edward.

He’s the gay vampire to my grungy doped up looking chick. Ah love.


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