Sometimes you just get pissed.

Have you ever hated someone with such a passion, you laughed at their failures?
Have you ever hated someone so much that when they’re hurt, it brings you joy?
Have you ever hated someone so cruelly that you drink their tears like it’s nectar?
I have.
She and I used to be pretty cool, but lately she has just been a pain in my ass and I’m so glad she is finally out of my life for good.
Oh yea, I’m talking about YOU, Shower Head.

(Right here I was going to put a picture of the offending shower head, but I just realized we threw it away in the last bag of garbage. So you’ll have to use your imagination. It was pretty standard fare, a shower head, metal, you know)

When Chris and I decided to buy a house we didn’t really know what we were looking for. We knew we didn’t want to go any more north than where we were because housing is cheaper, and my mom would be babysitting for us so having to go south to drop her off, then north to go back to work, was not in the cards. We looked at houses online at the two communities that were our top picks, the one where we are and the one where my brother lives. Choices, choices.

Chris stumbled upon our house and he immediately fell in love, so that night we went to look at it with a realtor. It was literally within walking distance of our rental, two miles away from my parents, across the street from a park with a lake so Chris could go fishing. It had pretty much the top priorities. When we got inside, I loved it because the living room was big, and we have an eat in kitchen. I also loved the big fenced in back yard. Chris? Well he loved the bathtub in the master bathroom. It’s a real good size for him to bathe in comfortably, and home boy loves him some rub-a-dub.

So we bought the house and the first thing we did was change the shower head, since we could totally do that now and not have to ask our landlord. Seriously, we spent hours looking at shower heads at stores, and debating about what kind of filters we wanted, and price and the best one. We decided (I decided because I was literally about to give birth [we closed Thursday, she came Saturday] and I was cranky from standing) to just get a cheap-ish one for now and replace it later, like when my feet weren’t swollen and there wasn’t a child protruding out of my vagina. (Did you enjoy that visual? I enjoyed writing it). $30 and about two hours later we had our new shower head, which I promptly used, inducing labor.

And everything was good. Everything was awesome, we loved our shower head. The water pressure on one of the settings was awesome, just what we both liked. And there was minimal problems, for a while. Until, that is, it started leaking profuse amounts of water. And then the setting we so desperately loved? Well, it stopped shooting out water every now and then, causing us to need to change the setting and hit the shower head until it worked.

Gradually, it got to the point where the dang thing wasn’t working on that setting at all, so we were forced to use one of the crappier other settings. Which, pissed me off because I need the water ripping my skin off from pressure to feel clean. Honestly tho, is there any other way? So just this weekend we finally switched back to the other shower head, the one the house came with. A temporary solution until we can buy another one. Which won’t be happening until I can walk around a store without feeling like there is a child popping out of me.  But another thing I discovered during this transition? The crappy shower head that busted on us? Apparently had been eating away my nail polish when it stopped working. Every day my freshly painted nails had chips in them, and now? Nothing except normal wear and tear. Oh my god, eff you shower head.

Quite laughing plastic spatula, you’re next.

God, this was such a pathetic filler post it’s almost funny, but really more sad. Don’t judge me on this one post, please. Chris told me to put it up today.

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2 Responses

  1. Pua, it might just have needed a good soaking in CLR or vinegar.

  2. I totally get it. I need my skin ripped off by the shower too and shower heads are a big deal in my house, a point of contention, a constant struggle. Good luck with the next one.

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