Here’s a random thought: Alarm clocks

Let me display my irrational irritation with another inanimate object, alarm clocks. Chris and I have the worst luck with alarm clocks. We’re on our fourth since April. That’s crazy.

Our first one was decent, it was the one I had before we got married and it lasted us from when we got married up until April. It barely lasted because it was constantly being screamed at and hit because it was stupid, but it worked. It was atomic (which is awesome), had two alarm settings, and wasn’t one of those horrid loud, buzzy ones. The problem with it was it totally hated being set and would often times would switch back to the regular time mid-set. We finally got frustrated to the point where we decided to switch it to Chris’ old one but that lasted a whole one night. It was one of those horrid loud, buzzy ones. Eff that. So we went back to my old one until we finally would get around to buying a new one.

When we went to buy one we probably picked up every single clock and figured out whether or not it suited us. My original pick was one that the numbers were all different colors, but we eventually decided on another one because it was atomic, had two alarm settings, and wasn’t horribly buzzy, loud. We discovered it’s bad thing that night however…oh. my. GOD. It was bright. It was horribly bright. It was bright to the point where I could walk in the dark from the door to our bed without worrying. This is a big deal because my eyesight is awful. I can’t see for shit in the dark, in a few years I’ll be legally blind and unable to drive at night, even with contacts/glasses. Anyway, the blue glow this clock produced was incredible, it was so bright, it bothered me! Which is another thing because I used to sleep with the tv on, Chris however needs complete darkness. But we didn’t have the patience to buy another one or switch back to our original, so we stuck it out until recently when Chris brings home a new alarm clock…

He’s often bringing stuff home. He’s like a magnet for stuff people no longer want. We’re always ending up with something someone didn’t want that he decided we could use (when, honestly, we already have a million of), but whatever. Doesn’t affect me at all. So, he brings home this alarm clock. This alarm clock isn’t atomic (that’s okay, I’m not messing with it anymore), has two settings, has multiple sounds it can play (and some of them aren’t horribly buzzy, loud), and doesn’t have a super bright face. It’s pretty much all sorts of perfect…except…it’s a goddamn space ship. This thing is HUGE. Like, seriously huge. Like, “that’s what she said” joke sized huge. And difficult to use. Maybe it’s just me, because I wasn’t paying much attention during the tutorial Chris gave me (I was already snuggled into bed), and I haven’t really used it, but it just seems really hard.

The other day, the baby woke up at 545, the sun was shining and she was just screaming her little head off. I figured since it was already so early in the morning, she could come lay down with me for a couple of hours before getting up for the day, no harm, no foul. Got her milk, got her, brought her back into bed and after a few minutes of her thinking it was awake play time, I convinced her to fall back asleep. Chris’ alarm goes off at about 640 in the morning, but it’s a very soft dulcet kind of thing. So it goes off, he hits snooze (unbeknown to me), then I push his butt out of bed. I can hear him turn the shower on and the sink on, and just as he is brushing his teeth, the damn thing goes off again. Now mind you, I’m on the other side of the bed, literally wrapped up in little girl, so I had to not only break away from the most wonderful spot in the world, but I have no idea how to turn this damn thing off. After a minute of searching, I found the button that indicated the off button so I pushed it expecting silence. Do you want to know what I got instead? LOUD HORRID BUZZY SOUND. LOUD HORRID BUZZY SOUND. IS YOUR DAUGHTER AWAKE YET? LOUD HORRID BUZZY SOUND. I WOKE YOU UP FROM YOUR WEIRD DREAM ABOUT WOLVES AND {my parents dog} BELLA. LOUD HORRID BUZZY SOUND. DIDN’T CHRIS LOOK HOT IN THAT DREAM? LOUD HORRID BUZZY SOUND. TOO BAD YOU CAN’T GET BACK THERE NOW. LOUD HORRID BUZZY SOUND.

And what do you think happened?? The baby woke up of course…ready to face the day.


3 Responses

  1. Why do they even make alarm clocks that make that awful noise? Jesus, it’s bad enough you’re waking me up, CLOCK, but do you have to be so damn annoying about it?

  2. This one is an ongoing battle that I continue to lose. The hubs gets up super early (like a stroke before the butt crack of dawn early) and if the boys hear it the day has begun. Needless to say, if I hear the alarm for more than 12.3 seconds Tim is getting kicked in the ass and shoved out of the bed and told to turn the m-f-ing alarm off. EVERY DAY.

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