Most Awesome Mommy of the Year Award

Guess who got Most Awesome Mommy of the Year Award the other day? Yep, me. My street had a parade for me, and there were animals and balloons and all sorts of awesomeness all because I’m amazing. How did I get this award? Well, it was quite simple actually. I managed to make my daughter scared of the vacuum cleaner. Oh yea.

Before I won MAMotYA, I had to get into the top ten. I never thought this would be possible, there are so many awesome mommies out there. I saw two of my competitors the other day, in fact, on my way to the doctor’s appointment. They were together, in a sedan with five children in the car. One in a car seat, two sitting next to it, and the other two sitting on the floor of the car. And none of them were strapped in. Do you see what I was up against? I never thought I’d get very far…I mean, all I’ve ever really done is let her crawl in and out of her swing by herself which only sometimes resulted in a bumped head. She just got her first scrapped knee last week, along with a scrapped forehead which went away pretty quickly. Of course, there was the Boppy surfing incident last week which gave her a nice little bruise on the side of her mouth as well, but it just looks like a dirt stain. I’ve been really disappointed in myself.

So anyway, getting into the top ten seemed like an impossible task. Yet, I landed it. One of the most fun things we do, as a family, is when Chris gets off of work and goes into the room to change out of his clothes, she and I will join him and the three of us will wrestle and play and laugh for a couple of hours on the bed. There is lots of fun and gobbling of each other, occasionally some force feedings of random toys that made their way into our bedroom, and he and I discuss our day and anything that may need to be done on the weekend or taken care of during the week. On Tuesday, Caitlin and I decided to do this, and we went into the room and talked to Nonnie on the phone for a bit, then played “Gobble Up Caitlin and Beg Her For a Kiss” for a little while. Everyone was having fun wrestling and playing until it was time to go eat dinner, so Chris gets up to leave. I decide it would be awesome to gobble her up one more time and she knows it, so she goes to run away towards the headboard. I nip on her legs and she trips on the pillows and WHACK! Her head hits the headboard, right in the middle of her forehead. This is our bed. Can you imagine a whack on that headboard??? The crying was immediate, as well as the lump and bruise that developed right in between her eyebrows on top of her strawberry (a little red mark on her forehead that she’s had since birth, it’s also commonly called an Angel Kiss). Small, dirt mark looking bruise on cheek next to mouth? Check. Very noticeable, dark, bruise and lump directly in between eyebrows? Check. Top ten for the Most Awesome Mommy of the Year Award? Chiz-eck!

Now, remember, this is a highly sought after and difficult award to receive. I didn’t think I would win, so just being in the top ten was an honor…

I’m in full force of nesting mode right now, I have a list of things I want to do before Kinley arrives, such as steam clean the carpet, couch, and rocking chair and get our front and back yards cleaned up and looking nice. I’ve gotten a lot checked off my list, such as finishing packing Chris’ bag, cleaning and reorganizing our kitchen and bathrooms and closets. I’m nearly completed with the list, and should be completely done hopefully by this weekend. So, one of the things on my list is to clean the couch and I got started on that the other day. I took the covers off the cushions and threw them in the wash and then took out the vacuum to clean up the horror that was under the cushions.

Caitlin loves to help cleaning, especially cleaning the glasswork or and vacuuming. So I’m sitting on the floor in front of the couch and she comes over to help me. Since she isn’t terrified of it yet, I let her hold onto the hose with me as we get up dirt and dust and half eaten Cheez-Its. Brilliant, awesome me thinks “Hey! You know what she would love?? If I touched her with it!” Now, in my defense, it was on the lowest suction setting and I had the slanted attachment on it, so it didn’t hurt. Just scared the living dog piss out of her.

She freaked. Screaming and crying. I turned off the vacuum and held her tight and after she calmed down, turned it back on to show her it was okay. Nope, not okay. Screaming and crying. Cuddle, cuddle, calm down, turn it back on to show her I’m doing it to myself and it’s okay. Nope, not okay. Screaming and crying. Cuddle, cuddle, calm down, sit her in her swing so she’s far away from it and I can finish. Screaming and crying, but it had to be done, so she cried for a few minutes. Once I was finished and it was turned off, I scooped her up and cuddled and everything was fine. But I hadn’t put the thing away yet…she played around it for a couple of hours, and was dandy. I figured it was just when it was turned on she was scared, so I went to wrap the cord up and put it away. Screaming and crying.

Right at that point is when my doorbell rang and I heard someone singing “Here she comes, the most awesome mommy of the year!! Isn’t she amazing!!” outside. I haven’t vacuumed the house since, and discovered that this fear also goes hand in hand with our Green Machine spot cleaner…found that out when I was cleaning the rocking chair. Needless to say, I’m not spot cleaning the couch until Chris can take her out for a little bit.

I just want to thank everyone who made this award possible…I love you!! You like me, you really, really like me! Please don’t call CPS.

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2 Responses

  1. That’s funny that she is scared of the vacuum cleaner. My kids have always loved it when I chase them around with the hose and give them funny hairdos by sucking their hair up and then twisting the hose to form kind of a soft serve ice cream swirl on the top of their head. And I never use the lowest suction, oh no, I turn that sucker up! Give it time, she’ll eventually think its fun.

    Disclaimer: I do not recommend playing these vacuum games with a pool vacuum if you may ever run across one. Pool vacuum cleaners are serious business and will leave circular bruises on skin…not that I’ve tried it or anything. ;)

  2. Oh and congrats on your award, its a tough award to win with all the awesome moms running around out there. There is a lot of competition, moms who smoke around their kids, refuse to follow proper car seat safety, chain their infants to their horrid baby buckets, think picking them up when they cry is spoiling them and moms like me who like to wail like a ghost and pretend I am possessed until my children fall to their knees crying and I burst out laughing at them.

    Good job on that award although I think you must have pulled some strings. ;)

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