Artsy mornings

When Caitlin was first born, I returned to work full-time for a few months. I knew I had wanted to go part-time, but had to wait while a schedule was created for me and a fellow co-worker who wanted a part-time position as well. Working full-time and caring for her, along with our home and Chris was extremely stressful and so a lot of sadness moved into our home with us. It wasn’t an enjoyable time.

Eventually, I went part-time when she was about four months old, working every other day. This new schedule opened me up to a lot of time that I didn’t have before and so the house was cleaner on a weekly basis, and I had more free time to spend with her and with my mom and sister. I also started going back to school at this time, so that in case something “happened” (not necessarily divorce, but death, or loss of a job) I would be able to get a better job and take care of my family. But there was still sadness in our home, having two working parents isn’t the life Chris or I wanted for our children and we knew that from the very beginning that we wanted me to be a stay-at-home mom.

Finally, nearly a year after Caitlin was born, Chris had started his new, better job, and we weren’t relying heavily on my small, part-time paycheck anymore. After a series of events, he decided it was time, I needed to be home with our baby and await the arrival of our second. My dream come true.

That’s where I am now. A stay-at-home mom. Next Monday will mark four months since my last day of work, and I’m finally settling into a better routine for the two of us. It took a while to get used to it, but now here I am, awake before Chris, the house is always clean (well, before we go to bed at least) and there is almost always some sort of dinner ready (I’m not going to go so far as saying it’s always home cooked). I love being a SAHM, it’s a really difficult job with no breaks, but I honestly wouldn’t trade it for the world. And mornings like today just remind me how much I love it. The mornings where Caitlin and I are awake before Chris (which has been becoming increasingly common) and she gets to wake up her sleeping daddy with kisses and hugs. Mornings where we get to express our creativity as a team, and enjoy the early sunshine, even if it’s raining outside.Art1Art2Art3Art4Caitlin1There is still the same guilt with being a SAHM, the guilt of not being there enough, not doing enough, having too many “lazy days.” But then there are these mornings, where I remember, she’s happy, growing and learning, and as long as that’s happening, I’m an awesome mom, even if I end up doing most of the coloring.

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4 Responses

  1. It’s such a great gift to be able to stay at home with your children! I am just coming off of a 2 week vacation and over those 2 weeks Aaron has thrived and has learned so many new things because I’ve had the time to sit with him. Now going back makes me feel like I am setting him up for failure. Not saying that if you’re a working mom you are failing your child, but for me, that’s how it feels. Needless to say, we did some number crunching and I will probably be a sahm very soon.

    • That’s so awesome! I was so excited when Chris did the crunching and said “You’d be better off staying at home.” I was really nervous those last two weeks of work because I had no idea what we’d do together all day, everyday. But after the initial shock of being with her everyday and being her sole caregiver and not sharing with a babysitter, I’m much happier. Not to say the division of labor in our house is slightly skewed, but I complain less about Chris being messy because I have more time to clean it up.

  2. I so so wish that could stay at home. I miss my little guy….and I only work PT because I learned that my families happiness is worth more than money. However I knda sort of need a lil bit of cash ;)

  3. I would love to be a stay at home mom. I think it is so great for your children’s sake when you can do that. Not to mention having a nice clean home, meals cooked, laundry done and the millions of other things to take care of in the household. I am sure it isn’t easy every day, but definitely consider yourself blessed you are able to do it. Hopefully I’ll be able to do the same, or at least work just part time when it’s my turn!

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