Genuis Ideas

My daughter? My funny, sweet, oh-so-adorable 16 month old daughter? Well, she has the biggest effing head ever. I swear. No, really, her head is huge. Clothing is very strange for her for the simple fact that she really has a 9-12 month body, but a 18 month size head. If there is a shirt/dress that has buttons on the back, she can easily fit into a 9 month size in most brands, but if it doesn’t? We can barely get her into 12 months, but 18 months drown her. It’s really frustrating.

Seriously, why does she have such a big cranium?? Is it to hold her big ole brain (Chris would beg to differ that there is a big brain in there)?? Or is she just some adorable, big headed freak? Either way, the whole clothing situation has got me tired. When I go to put a shirt or dress on her, she freaks out because sometimes she gets stuck in the head hole. I don’t blame her….I mean, her huge head had to pop out a tiny hole once before, and that had to be a super traumatic experience.

I do not question why humans are so messed up, just sit back and think about being born. How sucky must that be? I mean, one second, you’re floating around in a nice warm space just kinda doing your thing, never having to worry about being hungry or in a wet, poopy diaper…and then BAM! You’re being forced out (or pulled out) of your cozy little home through a small opening (or a large one depending on what mommy had) and it’s cold and not wet anymore and it’s loud and bright! And there are these weird things just touching you over and over again. And then you realize, oh my god, I’m so hungry, I don’t know what to do! How do I eat?? Oh my god, what is this weird stuff all over my tush? And if you’re a boy baby, then you get something cut off and it hurts. So the whole being born process has to suck seriously.


What I was getting to was that I have a super smart idea, and if I had any sewing ability, I would totally do it, but alas I don’t. So I just dream. My idea is a clothing line for babies, and I would call it “Macro” because the medical term for a big head is “macrocephaly”. It would have two different sizes, like men’s pants, the first number would the size of the baby’s body and the second would be the size of the baby’s head. So for Caitlin, she would be a 9/18 or a 12/18. And then by the time she’s in 18 month clothes, I’m sure she’ll be a 18/24. Because her head is that friggen big.

Is that not the greatest idea ever?? If only I knew anything about *making* clothes, I’d be set, but my abilities are very limited. I can do small holes and tears, but not very well, so I always ask Chris to do it for me. I’m willing to allow someone to take this idea and put it into motion, but I will however require a cut of the profits. I just know there are other moms of big headed babies out there who are just as frustrated by the process of getting their large headed child dressed.

And for the record, she’s always had a large head. Just not this big. It’s slowly getting to be two sizes larger than her body size. *Sigh*


2 Responses

  1. I also need this clothing line. And some sewing skills.

    Another thing I need? Attractive, supportive, cheap bras. Maybe our designer (ha! our indeed) can assist with this as well?

  2. seriously, i remember not being able to buy kid sized tops for myself when i was a kid because i couldn’t get my head through the head hole.

    your poor girl!

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