Where did the time go?

I’m sorry, I’m still in shock. Caitlin isn’t a baby anymore. I keep saying it, but then I go and doubt how much she knows.

She’s funny and sassy. She makes up her own games and lets me know when she doesn’t want something. She’s so sweet and loving, even to her baby brother.

She knows how to put on perfume, and how to use a fork. She can go up and down the stairs, spin in circles, and walk backwards. She’s so steady on her feet suddenly. She knows when I tell her it’s bath time to go upstairs to the bathroom or when it’s bedtime to go to her room. She loves Chinese food and Gatorade.

She’s a music and dance lover like her mommy, and will let you know when she doesn’t want a certain song on. She’ll sit and color for hours if I let her and put the caps back on her markers. She makes phone calls to her dad and knows how to answer the phone if it rings. And now? She is teaching herself how to buckle up her car seat.

Where did my baby go? When was she replaced with this…toddler? I don’t know if I’m ready to let my little girl grow up. Chris wants to get her a potty chair and start letting her get used to it. Only half of me wants this, the other half wants her to go back a few months, to when she first started learning to walk. Before I know it, she’ll be two, in only six months. And then, suddenly, she’ll be starting school.

And then I’ll not only be mourning her growing up, but my other little buddy growing up too. The only man who has penetrated my heart the way he has, not even his daddy could burrow himself so deep into my heart. I’m desperately praying he doesn’t start to grow the way his sister has, but he’s already not listening to me. He’s already on the upper-end of 11 pounds and rolling around every now and then.

I was forced to go through their dresser this weekend and get rid of clothes that no longer fit. Bye-bye to all of Caitlin’s 9 month clothes and all of Kinley’s newborn clothes. I hate that. I hate having to take out old clothes that no longer fit. Looking and inspecting at them and remembering that it wasn’t long ago that they fit into them so perfectly. It breaks my heart.

So far, this is the worst part about being a mom. Going to bed with your baby girl and infant boy, and waking up with a toddler and baby. I just want one more day of the little


2 Responses

  1. Hold the phone. Caitlin can do all that at 18 months? I am not prepared for 18 months. I thought 12 months was pretty adult but that? I’m not ready for.

    I’ll probably never be ready.

  2. Whatever you do, don’t turn around or close your eyes. Once second they are just chilling and then BAM!! Taking off their shirts by themselves.

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