Changing

Can you believe it’s already October? You can tell it’s Fall outside here in Virginia. The leaves are starting to change, there is a cool breeze, you can smell the coming holidays in the air. Is it just me, or is this year is passing by insanely quick? Before we know it, Halloween will be here, and then Thanksgiving and Christmas.

And, yes, I’m already thinking about Christmas. There are only 84 days, so I gotta get on with shopping. I would like to be done with Christmas shopping for the kids by the middle of October, because Chris’ birthday is in the beginning of November. After the babes are done, I can focus on him. I’m not insane, just anal sometimes…

Anyway.

I, shamefully, haven’t been as good as hoped I’d be with my life changing. In between everyone being sick and having horrifying nightmares, I’ve been exhausted and ended up losing track of everything. But today, since it is October 1st, I’m getting back on track. Counting calories, exercising, reading, all of it. I’m going to do this. I’m going to better myself, I’m going to enjoy my life, I’m going to stop allowing disappointment to hit me as hard as it does. I’m taking charge of my own health, my own happiness, all of it. I’m doing this for me, and my family can enjoy the outcome as well.

Everyday that I allow myself to sit and think of things that could have been, or that I could be doing, is a day wasted. A day in my life, a day in Caitlin’s, a day in Kinley’s. That is a day that their mommy isn’t reaching her full potential. That is a day that their mommy isn’t at her best. That is a day their mommy isn’t fun, or enjoyable to be around. Those are the days I want to eliminate. Those are days I don’t want them to remember, or recount as they get older. I want to be the best possible person I can be, and there is nothing wrong with that.

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One Response

  1. Good for you Pua! There is nothing wrong with that at all. Just remember though to be easy on yourself if you don’t meet expectations! I think that you are wonderful already.

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