Secret Mommy-Hood Confession

I love Kim’s new meme. So fun to read them all.

My confession? I lie to Chris occasionally.

We know how motherhood rolls. From the moment you discover you’re pregnant, you never get a moments peace, there is always someone who needs you. You don’t even get to use the bathroom without having to bring along toys to entertain your child unless you want to hear screaming and banging at the door for however long it takes.

There is no longer such thing as pooping in peace. Or privacy.

So, sometimes after an excruciatingly long day, and I just need twenty minutes to recoup, I feign a very bad stomachache, grab my laptop and sneak off to the bathroom. If I hear Chris walking past, I’ll sometimes make a little groan or fart sound with my hands, just to make it realistic. In reality, I’m sitting on the floor catching up on blogs or googling actors on IMDB.

I am not ashamed of doing this. And if you tell me you have never done it, I will call you a liar. After nearly two years of this, I’m sure he has caught on, but doesn’t want to risk calling me out on it in case he is wrong.

That would just be horrifying for him.

So yes, I lie to my husband about needing to poop. And I am totally cool with that.

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8 Responses

  1. Bwhahaha! Wait…wait…bwhahaha! I do that too. I won’t lie. I’ll be sitting in front of the door tweeting etc. and Shawn will come and check to see if I’m ok. I usually say something like “Oh the pain medications make me constipated. I’ll be a minute”
    Hee hee

  2. OMG, I seriously laughed out loud and for two reasons: 1. your post is so funny and 2. I can so relate! I sometimes fabricate illness to get away for a rest. Gosh, we’re Mothers! We’re needed 24/7 and can barely breathe sometimes.

    You earned it. Who doesn’t want to poop in peace?

  3. You know, I think my husband actually does this to me. He sits in the bathroom for at least 30 minutes every time he goes. If he only knew how little this bothered me. lol.

    • I’m sure if I came out and admitted, my husband would have something to say, but the way I figure it is he is the one who gets to go to the bathroom whenever I he wants and it’s my only break. hahah

  4. This is hilarious. And something I should totally do the next time I’m bored at a party!

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