Common interests

I’m not sure if I mentioned this before but one of Chris and I’s favorite hobbies is finding really horrible parody porn and watching it. They are so unbelievably funny and not sexy at all. I do not understand who could possibly get off to those.

So, on Monday night, after an exhausting day of unpacking (for me, he was at work), we used our brand new, much faster than our old crap internet to find and watch Edward Penishands. He has been searching and hoping to find a place we could download it from because he has been desperate to show me a scene he saw once that he found hilarious.

While it was very funny at many moments, it was much more disgusting throughout the entire thing.

It is much worse than it sounds.

Much worse than you can possibly imagine.

The nineties should have never made porn. Period. It had me gagging almost throughout the entire movie. If you really must know why, go back and read the title of the movie. Edward. Penis. Hands. Penis. Hands.

So disgusting and I was constantly reminded of turkey legs at Renissance Fairs.

Do you know how distracting it is to imagine two girls getting it handed to them in a communal bathroom with turkey legs by a pasty guy who keeps looking at the camera awkwardly then rolling his eyes in the back of his head? In case you didn’t, the answer is “very”. Did you know it’s almost equally distracting to be wondering why the fuck the two girls brought him into a communal bathroom instead of their apartment?

This is why I can’t really watch porn with story lines. There are always so many unanswered questions.

And images not intended.

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2 Responses

  1. It’s amazing anyone got any during the Nineties at all, isn’t it?

    • The “love interest” was wearing acid wash shorts pulled up to her belly button and thick socks rolled down to her ankles. Oh the teased hair!

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