Night-time mouth breather

FACT: I haven’t slept next to my husband since Saturday night. The stuffed-up nose of our smallest member apparently prevents him from getting a good night’s sleep. It “drives him crazy” he tells me.

So, for three nights, he has tucked me and the baby in and then went and made himself comfortable on the pull out couch. And then in the morning he complains that he didn’t sleep well because he isn’t used to not sleeping next to me.

FACT: My husband is, in fact, a mouth breather at night. Do you know what a night-time mouth breather produces? The most ungodly, inhuman, loud, obnoxious snores in the universe. He has the capability to awaken people in the next room with his snoring. It’s often a miracle if he survives the night because I tend to get so sleep deprived I want to smother him with a pillow.

Needless to say, when he makes claims of it being impossible to sleep with Kinley in the bed/room while he is sick because of the hollowness of his breathing, I can’t help but laugh insanely as I stretch myself out across the bed making claim to all of it.

Even if I’m waking up more often, I’m not struggling to fall back asleep, so we’re all getting better sleep. Plus, there is no blood red rage building up in me during the night, so Chris’ life isn’t in harm’s way. Which is just a good thing for all of us.

Kinley’s cold is clearing up day by day, however, so eventually I will be rejoined in bed. But I think I might be able to stretch this out for maybe the end of the week.

I need this. Chris is worth more to me alive than dead.

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4 Responses

  1. This whole thing makes me giggle. And wish I had the bed to myself more often. I’ve found myself glaring at David’s snoring head thinking “Why aren’t you going on a business trip soon?”

    • Chris is about to start a job that involves lots of traveling for sometimes up to 2 wks at a time.
      Part of me knows I’ll miss him a lot. But then another part whispers “but you won’t have to worry about where to bury his body…”

  2. My husband is a mouth breather, too. Most nights he just sleeps on the couch because I can’t sleep with all that noise.

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